Living alone is by far one of the most confronting, challenging, whilst simultaneously empowering and liberating life experiences.

According to the latest available data from the Office for National Statistics (ONS) in the UK, approximately 2.9 million women aged 16 and over are living alone, representing around 13% of all women in this age group. In the United States, the U.S. Census Bureau’s 2024 Current Population Survey reported that 19.6 million women aged 18 and over live alone, accounting for just under 17% of adult women. ONS data from 2023 indicate that around 35% of women aged 18 to 49 in the UK are single by choice and not cohabiting or married ONS reports that 18% of women aged 45 and over in England and Wales are childfree by choice.

In recent years, the increasing popularity of living alone has become a notable social trend, particularly among women. No longer is solo living seen merely as a consequence of not being married or not having found the right partner; instead, it is increasingly recognised as a deliberate lifestyle choice. This shift reflects a broader cultural change, where choosing to live alone is embraced as a valid path in its own right.

Society doesn’t always make it easy to celebrate being solo. We’re told we need to couple up, and share our lives. Whilst it is true that, connection matters, living alone often gets unfairly framed as lonely, sad, or incomplete, when it can be anything but! 

Like many, I first ended up living alone as a consequence of life events rather than an active choice. Having lived with friends and partners my entire adult life, my divorce saw me staring down the barrel of solo living with terror. I felt like a complete failure. I was getting divorced whilst my peers were just starting off their married lives and making plans to purchase houses and start a family. I was commiserating the end of a relationship I had thought would be for life and was petrified of how (or indeed if) I would begin to navigate life alone. I was convinced my life was over and that I would never survive alone, certain my life was destined for perpetual misery and loneliness.

I am pleased to report that I did in fact more than just survive and that far from the sad, barren life I was anticipating I am living a life that I absolutely love. Life that would never have been possible had I remained married.  I am almost a decade down the line now and honestly; I cannot see me ever wanting to share my life and space in the same way again.

I am not anti-marriage, not anti-cohabiting, but I am pro-making life choices that enhance your life make you the happiest, most liberated and fulfilled.

If you’re reading this as someone facing solo living for the first time; perhaps feeling anxious, scared, or uncertain about what lies ahead, I want you to know you’re not alone. Those feelings are completely valid, and many of us have stood exactly where you are now, staring into the unknown. But I genuinely hope you’ll find comfort in knowing that, over time, living alone can reveal unexpected joys and strengths you never knew you had.

Even if it feels overwhelming right now, and  you are not loving the prospect of living alone right now, that you can find some reassurance in my content and trust me when I say that there are moments of joy ahead.

And if you’re someone who already thrives living solo and is relishing the freedom it brings, I still hope you’ll find plenty here that resonates.

My aim is to offer stories, insights, practical tips and new ways to celebrate and enhance this lifestyle. Whether you’re seeking relatable experiences or useful advice, I want this space to feel like it’s for everyone navigating solo living, however, you came to be here,

Living alone can be incredible. But let’s not pretend it’s always easy; it can be really fucking tough at times. There is a huge amount of responsibility carried on the shoulders of one person; a load that those who cohabit get to share.

As empowering as independence is, living alone can also bring its fair share of challenges that demand both strength and self-compassion.

The solitude that nurtures growth can, at times, shift into loneliness, if we don’t seek out connection.  Anyone who lived alone during the 2020 lockdowns I am sure can describe feeling true loneliness and lack of connection.

Living alone is undoubtedly lonely sometimes. There’s no one to share the small, everyday moments with, the cup of coffee in the morning, the quiet achievements, or even just venting after a rough day, and when things go wrong there’s no one else to share the burden with.  It is in these moments that the challenge lies not in being alone in and of itself, but rather in being lonely. There is a subtle difference, but one that can be deeply felt and difficult to distinguish at times. Reaching out to friends, cultivating community beyond your own four walls, or even embracing technology to stay connected, becomes essential for wellbeing.

There is also the weight of responsibility. Every single decision is yours; from what to have for dinner, to utility providers, to where to live and navigating unexpected life choices. There is no one in your immediate space to lean on for a second opinion or to share in the chores when life gets overwhelming.

Managing finances can be particularly daunting: budgeting, saving, and shouldering every expense alone is a heavy burden and unforeseen expenses where there is no safety net of a second salary can be scary at times. Let’s not forget the so-called single person tax; We are so often expected to pay for the missing person by way of single supplements or bearing the full costs of social events where our coupled up counterparts get to split those costs.  

I have personally experienced all of the above and when emerging from the other side, these are the moments I believe I have experienced my biggest life lessons and growth. Some nights I’ve gone to bed feeling overwhelmed, wondering if anyone else really “gets it.” Those times are hard, and I’m not going to pretend they don’t exist. You learn to rely on your own judgment. You discover what truly matters to you, and what doesn’t. You learn to be your own cheerleader, your own problem-solver, and sometimes even your own therapist!

In shouldering these burdens, something transformative happens. The satisfaction that comes from solving problems on your own, from maintaining your home, and from thriving independently is profound. Each challenge overcome is a testament to your resourcefulness and strength. The self-reliance that develops through these experiences can have a lasting impact, instilling confidence, resilience, and a deep sense of empowerment.

In amongst all these challenges, there are undeniable up sides that deserves their own mention.

On the surface, there are the little indulgences that everyone loves to mention. The remote control is yours alone whilst you work your way through a late-night boxset marathon. You can throw a spontaneous dance party for one in the kitchen and dance ‘like no one is watching’ (don’t cringe!!). And let’s not forget the luxury of the bed all to yourself. Gone are the nights of disrupted sleep from someone else’s restless tossing and turning, or snoring. Studies have shown that those who sleep alone often enjoy higher quality rest, undisturbed and peaceful.

 There’s no one to debate, no need to coordinate, and rarely a reason to compromise or explain yourself or your decisions.

Then there are the more profound benefits, the most significant of which is the autonomy of how you spend your time. The most precious and finite of commodities is yours to do with as you please, with no one else’s schedule dictating yours, you are free to eat when hunger strikes, sleep when your bed calls, seek out company or bask in solitude as you please. You can choose how you spend your time intentionally; a freedom that opens up new avenues for self-exploration, and personal growth. In your own company, you may discover passions, ambitions, and  a deeper understanding of yourself, that you may not otherwise have had the opportunity to explore.

Like any way of life/ lifestyle choice there are positives and challenges. It is messy and complicated.  That is part of the human experience.  Some days it feels like freedom; other days, it can feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders.

If living alone feels daunting or unenjoyable right now, remember that it’s a journey filled with unique opportunities for growth and self-discovery. With time, you may find confidence and comfort in your independence, learning to embrace both the quiet moments and the freedom that solo living offers. Trust that as you navigate this path, you’ll find your feet and come to appreciate the strength and authenticity that can be experienced when you live life just for you.

For those already thriving solo, take pride in your journey. It takes courage and resilience to navigate life on your own terms. Celebrating your wins, big or small, is well deserved; you’re forging a path that’s uniquely yours and showing just how rewarding solo living can be.

If you’ve found any of these reflections helpful or relatable, I’d love for you to stay with me on this journey of solo living. Please feel free to share your own stories, questions, or tips in the comments below. Let’s build a supportive community where we can navigate the ups and downs together, encourage one another, and celebrate every win – big or small.

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